Neev's birthday Party

Neev celebrated his first birthday. We had a birthday party and he was unbelievably comfortable with a crowd of 10 adults and 8 kids. This is the same baby who had strong stranger's anxiety at 7 months. Today it appeared like he was a socialite. He was held by almost everyone in the party and never cried even once. He enjoyed seeing his other friends - Pranav and Tanisha and also his big bro's friends - Jeeshu,Alan, Mihir and Shruti. He even liked licking his birthday cake (given that he gags on almost every new taste) . We had a great time with our friends and kids had a blast. Happy Birthday Neev !

It's for you Papa

It was my father's birthday on May 23rd. I called him to wish him happy birthday and the phone call left me with a feeling of wanting to be near him, to celebrate his life. A life which weaved a safety net for his children, for me , for as long as I remember. I've always appreciated in my heart what my parents have  done for me but the depth of feelings have a new meaning ever since I became a mother myself. My husband once read somewhere and I don't remember the exact words but it meant that we can never repay our parents in this life , the only way we do it by paying it forward when we become parents ourselves.
Today I just want to say thanks to my father . Its hard to really say that to him on face so I am hoping that writing here can convey to him what he means to me. Among all the other things, one is for teaching me lessons even when he wasn't really preaching and for simply being there for me. I never told him how much I admire his confidence in facing life and its odds. For me if anyone is a living example of 'when the going gets tough , the tough get going', its my Dad. I am yet to see anyone who has taken the challenges of life in its stride. I can never forget when I was around 7 or 8 and that summer the fire swallowed our entire factory leaving it in ashes. We had no insurance for that factory so basically all was lost. No phone available at that time, the bad news came to us thru' someone in the afternoon and I remember my upset mother telling us that we should be quiet and not disturb him when my father got back home. He came late in the night, his face tired and his clothes covered in soot. None of us were sleeping. We lined together,sad and afraid looking, may be even teary eyed. And I clearly remember that his face softened after seeing us. Without even washing up he huddled us and said that 'everything is going to be okay, I am here'. Those words and that tone of his voice have been my strength in a way that he would never know. I try and be that strong parent on whom my kids can depend and lean on and I thank my father for that. Even now, his confidence blows me over. In my last trip to India I was a nervous mother , fretting over 15 months old Avi who was so used to me being around all the times and it made other people doubt themselves if they could care for Avi as best as I could. My Mama & Mami (my mother's brother and his wife) wanted to take us out for dinner and I was not sure if Avi would be up for a late dinner. My father said he would stay back and put him to bed. I thought that was a bad idea because Avi would never go to bed without me. He just put his arms around me and said 'I will take care of him'. It was the same assuring tone . So my husband and I went out to dinner without Avi (for the first time since he was born. I kept waiting for the phone to ring, summoning me back to home but the phone never rang and when we came back home, I witnessed the most lovely sight - my father and Avi sleeping, their heads touching together. I knew the flash of the camera would wake him but I still took the picture. I have a lot of stories like this and I will be writing again. Today I just want to say to him," I love you and I miss you Papa".
 

Daddy, hold me tight !

Like a lot of other families, we have a family bed. Despite our efforts to make Neev sleep in his crib and Avi in his bed thru'  the night we still end up piling in the family bed. 

Neev's had cold and cough for past 3 days and he would not leave my arms. It was getting difficult to get any rest in the same bed with  Avi and Neev. Thankfully I was able to convince Avi to sleep in his own bed for two extra books . 

The next morning my husband told me that Avi climbed up to him in the middle of the night and whispered to him "Daddy hold me tight, I can't sleep". (I have to add that my sensible child did not come to Mommy knowing that his brother was sick and Mommy needed to take care of him). Daddy obliged happily and secured him in his arms until he fell asleep. 

We can't wait for our children to become independent, do everything by themselves and yet it feels great when once a while they run to our arms seeking comfort. I'd like to think we still have a few more years until Avi and Neev don't need to climb in our arms and say "hold me tight".

The Cherry Pit

As a mother one of the things that fills your heart is to watch your children doing something for the very first time, mastering something or simply trying a new task. I try not to miss those 'firsts'. This is about one of those.

So far Avi has been eating cherries in a way I found frustrating. I just told him once to be careful with the pits. As a result the cherries were bitten from around the pit like a mouse has nibbled on them. Almost half of the cherries would waste like that and if there is one thing I dislike , is to waste food so I tried many times to show him how he could nibble on cherries and then roll them in the mouth to spit a clean pit. So finally my boy decided to give it a try. He rolled the cherry in his mouth for almost 15 minutes and then came running to me with the cleanest pit I've ever seen. "Mommy, look, I did it. Here is the pit............"He said excitedly . And he finished the sentence with his usual "look how big I am Mommy !"

My Gosh, I live for that gleam in his eyes , that pure smile , that pride he takes in his independent actions. And for some reason, I feel like I did something big too........I taught him to eat cherries without swallowing the pits.

Neev

Neev is going to be a year old. A typical baby, nothing like his older brother who always had a reflective look on his calm face. Neev is calm too and a happy baby but his eyes have that mischievous twinkle and his squeals are high pitched when he spots Avi running around him. He thinks that Avi is chasing him or playing hide and seek with him. Anticipation of being tickled gets this guy going. He is so beautiful , my eyes can not take it all. Kissing him is never enough and pictures don't do justice to his cuteness. He likes to comfort himself with his hand on his mouth in a singing tone. That's usually a sign for a nap. He is totally in awe of his big brother and likes to watch him do all the stuff that seems fascinating to him. Loves music and starts to move his bottom up and down whenever his favorite tunes are playing. His favorite animal is duck. He can not stop quacking if you ask him what does the duck say. He is our little parrot. At 11 months he can say woof woof, cow, dog, duck, quack, dadda, baba, hi. He is already clapping his hands and loves to wiggle and show his fingers on the song "I have 10 little fingers". He can actually make a fist when I say 'I can shut them tight' :) Its so cute to watch. His favorite songs are 'wheels on the bus' and 'if you are happy and you know it". 
Things he does not like - being on his tummy (never liked it), not being picked up when he wants to.
Like all babies , he loves to be out and about in the world, touching and feeling everything his little hands can grab. He is a joy of our lives and seems to know it :)

Avi and Neev together

Avi's growing up so soon. He is my wise soul. At 3.5 yrs he's already taken the role of being a big brother very sincerely. As he says 'Neev is HIS BABY'. I've not known any child this sensitive and with such high emotional intelligence. Today as Avi was playing the role of Picasso, painting on his wristband , Neev wanted to grab the corner of his paintbrush. Avi ever so gently explained to Neev, "oh no, you can be poked by that Baby". I could not help but smile at his fatherly gentle tone. He is so proud of being a big bro, always looking out for Neev, telling me when he thinks Neev is hungry or thirsty. and yes, he is the first one to hear when Neev is waking up from his nap :).

Mother's day 2008

Year 2005 ,I became the lucky one to celebrate mother's day. Year 2008 the joy has doubled. Avi and Neev complete my world, my life. Everyday they bring joy to my heart, some of which is likes of something which can only be experienced , not be told in words. Every night when I put them to bed, the feeling of being a mother takes me over. Being their mother has changed me as a person. Someone I did not know existed in me. It's not a surprise for many of us who are changed after motherhood . For one, I can say about myself that I never ,ever thought of myself as someone who would (and love to ) dedicate all my time to planning a nutritional meal, a play activity, going thru' the library's recommendation list for kids books or here's the best part - picking out outfits for them (I know that doing it for girls is more fun but hey my love for clothes and fashion has to show somewhere so I am costantly picking out latest fads for my boys). Basically all I am saying is that most mom are chefs, teachers,playmates,designers all at once. It has the rewards and frustrations like no other job because I am certain that in my life I would never have anything this personal and this close. I know that I speak for most mothers so here's to us - Happy Mother's day !

May 2nd 2008

One of my favorite things is to watch Avi and Neev interact. It's precious when they are trying to up each other by copying each other's voices. The other day there was a whole bubble blowing competition in the car . It was noisy but Anurag and I loved hearing the fun sounding from the chaos. Today it was almost like opera singing competition . It's sweet how Neev sings in his high pitch and Avi catches on the tone.

Avi is a sensitive soul. He is smart and loves to talk.  You'd think that he did not notice or did not hear but he does it like a sponge. His reasoning is amazing. When we explained to him that grown-ups need to be addressed as Mr. or Ms. , he quickly said ,'so daddy is Mr. daddy and mommy is Ms. mommy' :)

Neev is a typical baby, charming, chubby cheeks and cute as a bunny. He gets all excited when Avi is running around him . He thinks that his big bro is going to chase him and catch him. His squeals are precious. One of the things he does is dance on his bottom when he listens to music. No matter where he is, on the high chair or in my arms or on the floor, music gets this baby going. Anurag has somehow figured out two songs from Enya's album which would help him shake his booty and drift off to dreamland (ever seen a baby who likes to dance and sleep at the same time). 

A perfect day !

I heard about art of blogging on NPR on my way to playground with kids. I always believed in writing journals and kept some but it was supposed to be found after I was dead. Well, that's how I  thought and felt. After all, it contained my bare thoughts, feelings and I don't know if I ever wanted anyone to take a peek inside my head, heart and judge. So, it felt odd that people would keep online diaries, worst even that they would like others to read. But as I read more, I thought more and realized that blogging is a powerful tool to reach out to world or in my case to vent :) , if someone is listening. So here I am , for family, friends and anyone who cares to read. I plan on writing anything and everything. 

So here I go with my description of a perfect day I had with Avi and Neev. It was start of spring and one of those days which invited you to step out and check out your tiny existence in the giant universe. Kids had music class in Park's community center . It was a perfect mood setter so we headed to the park for a little stroll. Neev's love for ducks led us to pack some bread and as we were feeding the ducks,  for the first time I noticed the colors of green and blue on their necks. It wasn't beautiful beautiful , but they were shades of deep and something I never noticed on ducks before. I asked Avi if he wanted to play with other kids or go on the slides. Given his nature I knew he was going to opt for a walk with me but I made sure that I asked him first - may be he would surprise me one day. We started walking and crossed the wooden bridge over the water stream. Neev was howling in the stroller , ignoring the beauty of nature. It was his nap time. I took him out and rocked him gently hoping he would fall asleep and actually he did (as I said it was a perfect day). I put him back in his stroller, put the canopy over and covered with blanket for extra shade. We could hear the sound of water pouring into the stream and  it sounded like music patterns. Avi and I followed the sound and I showed him the water pipe from where the water was pouring. Avi is a nature's child, collecting pebbles, sticks, feathers and whatever catches his fancy outdoors. He was hooked and wanted to sit there and listen to 'water' . We listened to 'water' quietly until Avi caught butterflies flying and started running after them. I stood there watching him , his lean and long self jumping in excitement and I thought 'he is perfect'.............'this day is perfect'. I always liked this park but that day I loved it. I loved the manicured green pastures, the hills surrounding the park, trees and birches and the rainbow.

I put my sunglasses on Avi's eyes and asked him to look at the rainbow. He was happy and I was thrilled.

It was nothing I did but it was everything I wanted.

Neev woke up from his short nap . I picked him up and let him feel water, leaves and soil.

There was no one at that side of the park . It was just three of us, inhaling fresh air and savoring nature. I did not want this to end!  For some reason I felt lucky, humbled and proud - all at once.

It really was a perfect day!!